My Christian life has been filled with enriching and rewarding experiences of God and community. It has also had its fair share of pain and isolation. For many years I believed the teachings of my Christian communities, that homosexuality fell short of God's plans. I thought God wanted me to seek healing from my own same gender orientation.


Thankfully, God did not leave me there. After nine years of trying not to be gay, I began to see that the way I'd been living was unhealthy. I looked around at others who were trying to deny their own same sex attractions and I saw that they were miserable. I started to rethink my beliefs about what kind of relationship would be possible for me. As I wrestled with God about what it means for me to be gay, God spoke to my heart, saying, "This is how I made you and it's beautiful."


As I came out at my beloved church, it stirred up a lot of conflict. The pastors debated for months about whether or not I should be allowed to stay in leadership. The conflict that ensued made me wonder if my church was good for me anymore. I wanted to stay, but I feared it would only hurt. 


These experiences led me on a search of how others have maintained their faith after coming out as lesbian or bisexual. I met some incredible people. Their stories broke my heart, renewed my faith, and set me on a course to share them with anyone who will listen. 


Weeks before publishing Unnatural, I met a lovely pastor named Emily Swan. One year later, I married her. We are incredibly happy.


Finding faith among the exiles


Murr, R. 2013. "I Became Proud of Being Gay and Proud of Being Christian": The Spiritual Journeys of Queer Christian Women. Journal of Religion and Spirituality in Social Work. 32 (4).


Murr, R. 2013. "I Still Believe in the Church." Justice Unbound.



"'I Became Proud of Being Gay and Proud of Being Christian': A Social Worker's Study of the Experiences of Queer Women in Christian Churches." Society of Vineyard Scholars Annual Conference. Minneapolis, MN. April, 2012.


The Reformation Project - DC Regional Training Conference panelist. Washington, DC. November, 2014


Coming up this September: Why Christian? Conference


Rachel graduated with a Master of Social Work from the University of St. Thomas / St. Catherine University in 2013.

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Rachel Murr, MSW, LGSW

Rachel Murr